I have a 7 year old love-hate relationship with Nursing. For starters, I never even wanted to be one. All my life, I dreamed of being a journalist. I pictured myself clad in formal wear with a microphone in tow, somewhere remote in the Philippines filming a documentary ala Kara David. I geared myself from elementary to highschool in hopes that someday I will be in the journalism arena. But fate maybe didn't take my plans into liking. In 2003, I graduated from HS and at that time Nursing was the "in" thing. My parents and relatives all shared the flashy American dream so needless to say they all persuaded me to enroll in that course. As an altruism i gave in to their whims.
Unknown to everyone I used to cry at home after the first few days of classes. Everyday seem to be a step away from my dreams. It always felt like my loved ones robbed me of what i aspire to be.
Days went into weeks, weeks into months and I was able to cope with the help of my friends who share the same sentiment as mine. As time went by, I learned to like the profession as I get to know the ropes. Hospital duties came, community services rendered, immersions and fun bonding with my dutymates... The time came when I didn't have to force myself to like what I'm doing-- I was actually enjoying it!
My dream finally took a backseat while Nursing slowly crept in my heart (am i sounding chessy already?! hahahah). But once in a while I still write to somehow ease the hunger of that writer wannabe in me.
In April 2007, I graduated in Nursing and in September I officially became a Registered nurse. Yet still harboring the "what ifs" that haunted me all those years. With all those doubts I didn't pursue my Nursing career right away. Instead I tested the waters of the call center industry just to feel the breeze of freedom away from my supposed profession.
The pay was great and my officemates were the best yet it was never enough. I am constantly seeking for that evasive tinge of satisfaction and fulfillment in what I do. I resigned from my job and what follows after, I believe are realizations after realizations that I am indeed a nurse at heart.
Over the past years after I left the call center, I trained in 4 medical centers, had a short stint in a government hospital, became a part-time on-call nurse in a diagnostic center and now I am in between jobs. I miss the late night work, stress, raw emotions, toxicity and all the crazy work demands despite the pay and gruesome working conditions!
It took years and a job away from the Nursing field to lead me to such an acceptance. All these time, I was in deep denial. But no one can blame me, a childhood dream is hard enough to let go. It took God and a series his of pre-planned events to get me at the center of His will.
I am a NURSE. I am no longer that girl who wishes to be a journalist. But while I can I'd still write as the figment of the used-to-be writer resides in me. After all i still have stories to tell.. i have a long way to go. I am Jaichey and I am a proud nurse.
